Does your relationship have rules? It should. These rules stretch far beyond definitions of monogamy or fidelity. They speak to the fundamental values that will guide your relationship to success or doom it to failure.

A good night’s sleep is not just important for little humans. It’s important for big humans as well. Fatigue unnecessarily puts your relationship at a significantly higher risk for more conflict and less connection. So go to sleep. It may be the simplest and most impactful thing you can do to immediately improve the quality of your relationship.

The heart of a champion is not just about being the best. For true olympians and healthy couples, it’s about doing their best, every day. The competition isn’t always about the competition. It’s about striving to be better, together.

Feelings of guilt, shame, failure, and inadequacy often have very deep roots that stem from our early childhood experiences. If left unaddressed, they can severely damage our romantic relationships in that they render us internally-focused, unreliable, and inactive when our partners need us most. When you hurt your partner, it’s not about you. Focusing on yourself only diverts precious time, energy, and attention from where it is needed the most.

In the same way that rumble strips on our roads keep us from falling asleep at the wheel or veering off the road, installing rumble strips in your relationship can keep you and your partner centered on a path toward relational health. Relational rumble strips allow us to catch and correct issues early. While at times we may find our relationship swerving over the lines, if caught while we’re still on the road we can get back to where we need to be with just a little nudge. Without rumble strips, by the time we realize our attention hasn’t been focused on what’s important, it may be too late, and a serious crash may be inevitable.

Bringing up issues in your relationship is no easy task. For many couples, there’s never a good time. No matter when, how, or why things are brought up, attempts to address relational challenges are met with defensiveness and often lead to intense conflict or withdrawal. While there are fairly easy solutions to this problem, today’s post is less about helping you get it right, and more about making sure you don’t do the one thing that guarantees that you’ll get it wrong.

When we think of bruises, we usually think of the sensitive, discolored wounds created by trauma to the blood vessels underneath our skin. However, bruises are not just physical. We have emotional bruises as well. While not visible to the eye, these emotional bruises can be far more sensitive and more painful than any physical bruise could ever be. Failure to understand how our emotional bruises impact our relationship is a recipe for conflict, hurt, and disconnection.

Too many couples have bought into the all or nothing, homerun approach to their sexual relationship. It’s intercourse or nothing. Some couples seem to be fairing well with this approach, hitting a record number of homeruns. However, more couples are striking out. Whichever side you’re on, you could still benefit from bringing some nuance and variety back into your sexual relationship.

The inability to communicate effectively is the root of most relational challenges. That’s because there are so many communication traps that couples can fall into. Asynchronous communication can help you avoid many of them. Here are a few of the most common communication pitfalls that can be addressed by strategically using asynchronous communication.

Ever stood on a chair or table with wobbly legs? Not the safest feeling is it? Relationships with weak foundations can feel similarly unsafe. Your relationship can only be as strong and healthy as the foundation it’s built upon. If the foundation is weak, the relationship is weak.